Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
She made me pour olive oil on her.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
