But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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