I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
