Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I cannot find my penis.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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