The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
