He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
