Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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