YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
