Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
