yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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