Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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