Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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