Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
don't judge my taste in strippers
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
