yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
