I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
