She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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