her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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