Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
you had me at cake vodka
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
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