I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Randomize
