its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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