i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
