The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
