Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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