So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
