I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
