I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
