he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
