Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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