I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
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