worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
