Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
