I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
