I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
