i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
