Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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