Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
