TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
