If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
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