nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
