She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
