I wish I could teleport
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Shame is for Republicans.
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