Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
