I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
