i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
