Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
