there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Randomize
