This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
