dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
