The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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