He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
