rhymes with "ouble enetration"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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