My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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