i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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