what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
